Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Irony at its best

I am fickle-minded.

Previously when I was struggling to make my business profitable, I told myself that if I have to skip a few unproductive classes in school so as to put in a few more productive hours at work, it would be worth it. My point was that even if I am in class, but all that I have in mind is work, it would just be a plain waste of time. So with all the excuses and probably the perfect example of what we call the irrationality of the rationality in place, I relegated my degree to play second fiddle to my business.

My mind switched off in school. I began skipping classes. I went to school sometimes just to get away from work and welcome the distraction that my classmates and friends provided.

There and then, I told myself to keep working hard so that when my business gets on track, I would then be able to focus on my degree. It did make sense and even now, I think it still does. Well, when work is running smoothly, it means you would not have to worry about it much and would be able to instead focus on your studies, no? If only things were that simple. Haha.

Now that I'm beginning to see results in my business, I don't see myself switching focus back to my degree, not to mention allocating it the attention it deserves. It's ironic, isn't it?

I get a lot of questions on whether I intend to get a job now or after I'm done with my studies. The answer has always been pretty firm in my mind, but I always do not put it across to them that convincingly. The reason being, most people have been indoctrinated with the mindset of being an employee that if you see your friend who does not share the same values, they tend to see you in a weird light. So my answer to that kind of question would always be something like:

"Yeah probably, but only when I've graduated."
"I don't know, I'm a full time/part time student."

OR I would just flash them my million-dollar smile. =)

One year ago, I wanted to get a degree because my job back then sucked big time and I felt I needed to upgrade myself to get a better job, and a better salary.

Now, I don't want to get a job because I don't want to be an employee and the reason for getting a degree is now somewhat diluted. What I can earn with what I'm doing is something that is not remotely possible if I were to be an employee. So what warrants my degree now? Self actualization? Yeah but I am probably not at that stage of my life yet.

I question myself more and more if what I'm doing is right and I think I could do with some advice. I've been pretty adamant that I would finish my degree, because I'm already halfway through it and I only need to last the distance for another year. But at the same time, I worry that I would just be wasting time by simply going through the motion the year ahead and not benefiting from the journey at all.

I'm not sure if any of you has gone through this before but I would appreciate if you could give your $0.02 and do speak your mind!

2 comments:

Ian said...

I didn't know my opinions were really only worth 2 cents - especially if i made you re-read it 11 times. Haha:)

I think your problem is rather simple (from my point of view). You lack confidence.

I have until recently always seen the need to justify my actions to the world and for what? My life is worth more than the sum of all the comments (feedback) put together and why? Because unless they are me, no one will truely understand my situation no matter how they try. Because if I suffer as a consequence, I alone bear full responsibility for my actions. Same goes for you, for everyone.

A degree has and always will be 2 things:
1. Bragging rights
2. Gateway to employment

You question yourself for taking the degree now because your end result has changed and along with it, the means to achieve it. Having said that, I would finish the degree if only to not allow the money I put in to go to waste (and to socialize with girls).

Deep down inside your not really looking for advice. Your looking for reassurance.

Which is why I say you lack confidence.

DZ said...

which ian is this?
i dont agree and i dont think that swee lacks confidence