So there are 2 schools of thought here,
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
- Absence makes the heart die, aka Out of sight, out of mind
Well, when you're deeply in love, the first notion definitely applies to you. A pair of lovebirds going through the honeymoon period, well, even a guy and a girl during courtship, the slightest time apart can easily be extremely torturous for both parties.
You yearn to see him/her every minute, you can't bear to part with her when you've reached her doorstep, you think of her before you turn in every night, and she's the first thing that comes to your mind when you wake up in the morning.
Every moment apart is like pulling teeth, and every day without each other passes like a year. The scenario is probably best illustrated when the guy is called up for enforced slavery (read: NS) and has to be apart from each other for the first few weeks. If you could rush out with your rifle to meet your girlfriend, you would!
For better or for worse, that is when absence
really makes the heart grow fonder. With the right amount of absence, it strengthens bonds and makes the ones in love, fall even deeper in love. Sweet stuff. =)
So when does the second thought come into play? This frustrating and thorny "absence" issue is an irritating paradox. When the absence becomes too prolonged, voluntary or not, it starts to take on another meaning. The lovely equilibrium tips and absence becomes a double-edged sword.
I write "voluntary or not", because absence could be used to serve different purposes. An involuntary absence would mean something like a long distance relationship, when 2 parties have to be separated by the cold and heartless waters, and yet try to keep their passion burning. Add on other variables like work, culture, fatal attraction, phone bills, internet connectivity, time difference, interest (or lack of it), absence could cause even the
fondest of relationships to evolve into icy cold ones.
On the other hand, a voluntary absence could be a scenario whereby you want your other half to forget about you. In the words of the old adage, "Time heals all wounds..."
It could take a few weeks, months, or even years, but eventually all wounds would heal, albeit for some scars. I would like to think that absence is beneficial in this scenario, as its actually therapeutic, and helps one move on from broken relationships.
Broken relationships only hurt when you are still
bleeding love. When the blood has run out, would it still hurt? (cheesiness fully intended)
Being out of sight, would then equate to being out of mind. (yes and no literally)
If absence still does not work for you, I suggest you seek some professional help.
Click here ->
How to Get Your Ex BackA third scenario whereby absence could play an important role? The Fad Crush Detector! The next time you think you like someone, stay away from that person for a while. Don't see her, don't text her, don't talk to her, don't even dream of her, and see what that does to you. If she fades away as quickly as she enters your life, it's probably another fad crush that you are oh-so-prone-to.
S0, what do you subscribe to?
* I apologize for the abrupt ending. I was typing this entry midway through till supper came calling. And naturally, my train of thought got knocked off the rails. Better luck next time!
