A Touch of Fate

I just came back from lunch with my mum, and it must have been one of the most meaningful lunches I have had in a while.

We were looking for seats and there were not any around. In the end, we had to share a table with an old lady. And it was precisely this old lady who made this lunch so memorable.

Dressed in a floral top, you would be forgiven for thinking she is just like the typical 50 - 60 year old auntie you see in the coffeeshop. With a bowl of kway chap in front of her, it just about completed the initial, insignificant impression.

But once she spoke, you could sense something different about her. Her language, and level of wit was not something you would witness from any ordinary old folk. She asked if I'm studying or working and proceeded to say that she's currently lecturing in NUS, and sometimes crossing over to SIM, if the need arises.

She went on to say that she was headhunted, and was sort of affiliated with our Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong. She holds 4 degrees, and only moved over from Canada in Aug 08.

You could see how friendly she was as she knew almost everyone in the coffeeshop, from the drinks auntie to the wanton mee owner. Considering that she stays in Pasir Panjang and this is a coffeeshop located in Bedok, and the fact she has been here for less than 2 months, I think it's pretty remarkable. I felt compelled to tell her that even though I've stayed her for all my life, she knows all these people better than I do.

The last time she came to Singapore was more than 10 years back, and one particular change she had observed was our culture.

"Singaporeans are hostile, and unfriendly."

To which I find myself smiling and nodding in agreement. Actually, I think we are adverse to novelty, i.e. strangers.

Since young, our parents have never failed to drill the idea into us that we are not to talk and be friendly to strangers. And being the ever obedient children that we are, we followed the teaching even till today. So, maybe we can be forgiven for our hostility towards strangers. After all, it's almost innate!

But in all seriousness (I'm not really a fan of The Joker), we do have some way to go before becoming a gracious society. I remember SM Lee Kuan Yew once said he would not live to see a gracious Singapore. When I first read that, I think I flashed the same wide grin as what I did just now at the coffeeshop. Haha.

She went on to talk about respect for the elderly, and the lack of it from young people nowadays. And the next thing she commented was very true as well.

这里的老人家可以分为三种：

１）等天亮
２）等儿孙回家
３）等死

For the benefit of the Chinese illiterate readers -
Old people here can be classified into 3 categories - waiting for daybreak, waiting for children and grandchildren, and waiting for death.

Of course that does not apply to every old person, but it's just general speak. Personally, I think it's the general mindset of old people in our society and how they are perceived by the rest of us. Add to the fact that we are a rapidly ageing population, I sure hope that public perception changes and more importantly, the role that greying members have to play. She quoted Japan as an example.

When she was there, old couples were holding hands and distributing newspapers in the park. It's a well known fact that Japan has an ageing population and I think the scenario quoted above did not happen by chance. I'm sure it took education and much time to bring about such an environment, and I hope our society will embrace that sooner than later.

And then, she revealed that she actually came from one of the wealthiest families in Hongkong. Home is at Happy Valley, one of Hong Kong's highest class residential areas. Her grandfather is a friend of Li Ka Shing, and she could have jolly well chose not to work her entire life. Even though she comes from a good background, she did not come across as arrogrant at all. She was humble throughout the conversation and if anything, was very amiable.

One last thing that she had brought up was that of education. Study what you like, and study for the knowledge. A degree is the basic minimum nowadays, and we should never stop learning. Get a degree, go out to get a job, then get a Master's.

And finally, two quotes for you to chew on:

"Information is NOT knowledge."
“Knowledge is of no value, unless you put it into practice.”